Around 7 a.m. I get him from his crib and we lay in my bed for about 15 minutes playing with the iphone. Then we get up and he "helps" me get ready for work. As I dress, he climbs around in my closet pulling dresses and other items down to the floor, so I can see all my wardrobe options.
Then around 7:25 a.m. we brush our teeth together. By the time we are done, it's 7:30 and I still need to feed him breakfast, do my hair, put on make up etc. etc. etc. Some days Jon is very helpful and takes Oliver to his highchair and starts Oliver's breakfast while I get ready,
but on most days I'm trying to get ready for work with a child underfoot.
While I'm trying to apply eye liner...he is trying to get under the sink...into the toilet, or into the toilet paper.
While I'm doing my hair, he is trying to unplug my curling iron, or sometimes I loose him, only to find him in the shower splashing the little puddles with his hands.
But there is one defense....
Oliver has a few fears in the world:
The vacuum and my hair dryer w/ diffuser attachment.
I know I will probably burn in hell for using this fear tactic on my child...but when that blow dryer is placed in the doorway of the bathroom, INSTANT CHILD REPELLENT. Of course I need to make sure I'm finished diffusing my hair.
Notice my wavy short hair, another practical use of the diffuser.
2 comments:
You're not going to hell, you're going to the special section of heaven reserved for tired, underappreciated moms.
See you there.
You are evil!!!
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