Ok...Serious Blog FAIL.

I was recently reminded by someone who may remain anonymous, that I haven't posted a new post in many many moons. I will try to do better in the future. We have just had a lot going on around here. In case you don't believe me, here is our Summer/Fall recap.

We got to meet someone new!

We said goodbye to a loved one.

We got to hang out with our favorite partners at the R-Ranch.


We celebrated America.


We took refreshing (dangerous) naps.


We learned we like Ranch dressing...a lot.

Jon started his summer project, backdoor steps to the backyard. I like how Oliver wears his helmet during construction. Safety First.

O.k. I was working hard, so please ignore the crazy hair.

We even made it to the California State Fair!

Oliver liked the bug exhibit.

We enjoyed running through the sprinklers! And yes this is happening in our FRONT yard.

We rocked a little.


We went camping again...and learned how much we LOVE dirt.


Why drink milk when you can start your morning with a cold one? (Before you go calling CPS, this can of Oly is unopened).


Um...dirt and jelly don't mix.


We had a few Monsters over for Oliver's 2nd Birthday Party...

and then we ate them.

Jon trying to figure out one of Oliver's new birthday puzzles.

Oliver loved his new Space Tent! Apparently Moms are not allowed inside, but Dads are o.k.

Oliver also loves his new Legos. Glad we made the investment.



Did you know that our little town has Tractor Museum?
We didn't either till a local told us.








Here is an old Packard truck. I think our Great Grandpa used to sell these.

We dressed up a little.


We finally renewed our Zoo membership.

Haircuts are rewarded at our house.

We learned that Play-Dough doesn't taste as good as it looks.

We not only picked our Pumpkins from a REAL pumpkin patch,
we also held kitties, bunnies, chicks, chased Chickens, petted cows
and went on a Tractor Ride.
No pictures of any of that stuff though, so you will have to just take our word.

Oh Yes. This Happened.

I Love Prince. I love the album Purple Rain. I love the movie Purple Rain. I got to go see the movie Purple Rain the other night in the city at the Castro Theater and there was a very special guest.

Freak'n Apollonia.

If you are too young to know this name. She was the hot lady that Prince hooked up with (and treated like dirt) in the movie Purple Rain.

Still not ringing any bells??? She also had the smash hit "Sex Shooter." A pop song all little girls (should not) sing along with.



During her interview on stage, they kept on referring to her as a fashion ICON.
I love that.
(Please Please See Video).



To top off an all ready Awesome evening with my adult girl friends (NO KIDS ALLOWED) we got to meet this Prince Kissing, Sex Shooting, Fashion Icon!!! She looked Fabulous.

Word to your Mother...

Funny how a child's first words are never what you would expect. Plus, they don't always sound like the word they are saying.

Oliver has been slow to use verbal...he has been more of a pointer and used a few sign language words we taught him, like "more" please"& "thank you." He could say the Da and Ma sounds but rarely used them to call us. But the last couple of weeks he has really tried to speak more.

Some of his silly first words are:

Gully Gar or Gully Gully Gully Gar

Translation: Guitar

Eeess

Translation: Cheese

Cock

Translation: Clock

Loo la loo la loo

Translation: Mellon, or Banana

Wa Wa

Translation: Water

and my personal favorite:

RICE! No translation needed for this one. Clear as day, he screams RICE!

Oliver carefully considering his next word.

Family Vacation. Scary.

Want to see Oliver shiver with fear? All you have to do is say...FAMILY VACATION. It all started when I decided to get Oliver pumped for our trip.

ME: Are you ready for...FAMILY VACATION??

Oliver: Claps hands, nods yes with a big smile.

ME: Hey Oliver...we are going to the BEACH for FAMILY VACATION!!!

Are you excited???

Oliver: Claps hands, nods yes with a big smile.

As soon as we arrived to Monterey, I got Oliver dressed for the beach. The first thing we did at the beach was show him the Ocean. As we approached it...he clung tighter and turned his head away from it.

ME: Oliver, don't you like the Ocean?

Oliver: Shakes his head NO!

ME: Oliver, don't you like the beach?

Oliver: Shakes his head NO!

Even though we brought his shovel & pail (and practiced digging in dirt at home for weeks), he would not sit in the sand and play. He would not make a sand castle. He held on to us as tight as he could and cried if we tried to put him down in the sand. Sand touched his toe and he was horrified!

When I tried to get him pumped for the Aquarium...he looked untrusting of my enthusiasm. Now whenever I asked him if he was having fun on family vacation, he would just shudder and shake his head NO!

Me: Oliver do you like the Aquarium?

Oliver: Shakes his head NO.

We had a lovely dinner in Monterey. I surprised Jon and wore a dress he sewed for me in 1997!

Jon also booked us a theme room at the The Madonna Inn. We got "The Old Mill." It was gaudy and dated and absolutely PERFECT! Pictures don't do it justice. The entire hotel was cotton candy pink. The gift shop, restaurants & bar were pink.

There is a working water mill fountain on the wall & animatronic mill people above our bed.

Oh, and the toilet seat was heated!

Oliver & I standing in front of our Old Mill mural.

Me: Oliver, do you like staying at the Madonna Inn on family vacation?

Oliver: Shudders, and shakes his head NO.

It's sad the only picture of us together in our room is blurry. I still can't believe we've been married for 10 years. Where does the time go?

The room came with two pink robes. I fantasied I would get a picture of each of us in our robe. Jon did not help me fulfill this fantasy.

People just don't decorate their gardens with lesbian-threesome sculpture anymore!

Jon booked an hour and a half tour of Hearst Castle.

Oliver did really good the first 50 minutes.

Then the tour guide "suggested" that we take him to the children's play room to help him "get the ants out of his pants". She clearly did not understand that the ants have made his pants their PERMANENT RESIDENCE. I was so bummed, but then a man from another tour got really sick, and they kicked Jon & Oliver out of the playroom to accommodate him. Yay for sick people! So, we did get to finish the tour together. We had a great time.

Me: Oliver, what did you think of the Hearst Castle?

Oliver: Shudders.

Me: Oliver did you like our family vacation?

Oliver: Shakes his head NO and trembles in fear.

Ok...I'm going to HELL

Oliver and I have a lovely morning ritual.

Around 7 a.m. I get him from his crib and we lay in my bed for about 15 minutes playing with the iphone. Then we get up and he "helps" me get ready for work. As I dress, he climbs around in my closet pulling dresses and other items down to the floor, so I can see all my wardrobe options.

Then around 7:25 a.m. we brush our teeth together. By the time we are done, it's 7:30 and I still need to feed him breakfast, do my hair, put on make up etc. etc. etc. Some days Jon is very helpful and takes Oliver to his highchair and starts Oliver's breakfast while I get ready,

but on most days I'm trying to get ready for work with a child underfoot.

While I'm trying to apply eye liner...he is trying to get under the sink...into the toilet, or into the toilet paper.

While I'm doing my hair, he is trying to unplug my curling iron, or sometimes I loose him, only to find him in the shower splashing the little puddles with his hands.

But there is one defense....

Oliver has a few fears in the world:

The vacuum and my hair dryer w/ diffuser attachment.

I know I will probably burn in hell for using this fear tactic on my child...but when that blow dryer is placed in the doorway of the bathroom, INSTANT CHILD REPELLENT. Of course I need to make sure I'm finished diffusing my hair.

Notice my wavy short hair, another practical use of the diffuser.

Surprise!

I'm not sure what was more surprising to Oliver...the discovery of a lost sippy cup behind a piece of furniture....

or the taste of the sippy cup's "chunky" contents....POOR BABY...you should have seen his little face: (

Go Fish!

Note to self:
Don't walk away from a hungry baby who's within reach of a table with food (specifically Goldfish Crackers).

Reminds me of the saying: Give a babe a fish, he'll eat for a day...

but teach a babe to fish, he'll eat for a lifetime.