Ok...I'm going to HELL

Oliver and I have a lovely morning ritual.

Around 7 a.m. I get him from his crib and we lay in my bed for about 15 minutes playing with the iphone. Then we get up and he "helps" me get ready for work. As I dress, he climbs around in my closet pulling dresses and other items down to the floor, so I can see all my wardrobe options.

Then around 7:25 a.m. we brush our teeth together. By the time we are done, it's 7:30 and I still need to feed him breakfast, do my hair, put on make up etc. etc. etc. Some days Jon is very helpful and takes Oliver to his highchair and starts Oliver's breakfast while I get ready,

but on most days I'm trying to get ready for work with a child underfoot.

While I'm trying to apply eye liner...he is trying to get under the sink...into the toilet, or into the toilet paper.

While I'm doing my hair, he is trying to unplug my curling iron, or sometimes I loose him, only to find him in the shower splashing the little puddles with his hands.

But there is one defense....

Oliver has a few fears in the world:

The vacuum and my hair dryer w/ diffuser attachment.

I know I will probably burn in hell for using this fear tactic on my child...but when that blow dryer is placed in the doorway of the bathroom, INSTANT CHILD REPELLENT. Of course I need to make sure I'm finished diffusing my hair.

Notice my wavy short hair, another practical use of the diffuser.

Surprise!

I'm not sure what was more surprising to Oliver...the discovery of a lost sippy cup behind a piece of furniture....

or the taste of the sippy cup's "chunky" contents....POOR BABY...you should have seen his little face: (

Go Fish!

Note to self:
Don't walk away from a hungry baby who's within reach of a table with food (specifically Goldfish Crackers).

Reminds me of the saying: Give a babe a fish, he'll eat for a day...

but teach a babe to fish, he'll eat for a lifetime.

Lost & Found...

You never realize how much you appreciate the remote control till it goes missing for over 24 hours. We tore the house apart, looked in all the usual places but could not find it. Luckily I decided to wear my boots to work. Mystery solved. I also found a binki in the toe of the boot. It had been missing for a while. Speaking of binkis...

Yesterday Jon was working in the back yard and found Oliver's missing green binki in our flower bed. I was glad we found it instead of Oliver, considering the fact that there was probably SNAIL POISON All OVER IT.

This is the macaroni I found in my hair. I discovered it after I had returned home from work. I was sporting it all day. Then I remembered that I had given Oliver macaroni & cheese the day BEFORE. This means I was actually wearing macaroni for TWO DAYS. Awesome.

No More Cry Baby!

This would have been Oliver if we hadn't fixed his leaking right eye.

Oliver had Surgery on his right tear duct this week. He had very goopy eyes as an infant, and we were told it would clear up by age 1. Well, he is now almost 18 months, and still had one goopy eye. We wiped tears away from this eye constantly. The doctors said that a minor surgery was needed to PROBE the tear duct for blockage and possibly put in a very small stent to keep the duct open. No BIGGIE...just a doctor taking my baby, putting him to sleep, than sticking something in his EYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oliver had to fast at least 6 hours before the surgery. His was doing fine till they made us wait an EXTRA 2 HOURs in pre-op. 8 Hours No Food, No nap...we struggled to keep him still and quite.

He fought the nurse trying to take his blood pressure, and he tried to take off his ID bracelet they placed on his ankle. Maybe I should send the nursing staff a formal letter of apology...NO!....they are the one's that kept this tiny guy waiting for hours till he was CRAZY. They should send Oliver a letter of apology.

Dear YOU TUBE, I love you. I really, really do. I would marry you if I wasn't already married.

We watched every Yo Gabba Gabba & Sesame Street Video posted on You Tube while we waited.

They finally gave him some drugs to put him in a calm state for the Anesthesiologist.

Notice he is laying down. This was only possible because the "calming drugs" they gave him started to kick in. Here you see him spacing out looking at the GROOVY stethoscope. Also you might notice the marker above his eye. I'm very glad they marked the eye they were planning to work on. I would hate for them to probe the wrong tear duct. The surgery went great, but post-op we had a hysterical, unconsolable baby coming out of anesthesia. He was ok, just confused, starving, tired and REALLY PISSED! Took him a while to snap out of it.

Once he settled down, we were able to give him a bottle, some food, and a bath and he drifted off to sleep. No more CRY BABY, just a brave little boy with a permanent marker tattoo on his face.

Mmm-Mmm Good!

We used to think it was so cute to hear Oliver go "Mmmm" as he ate his meal. Now whenever we hear it I go into PANIC mode and run to his side to see what he is putting in his mouth. He says "Mmmm" when he eats old food off the floor, he says "Mmmm" when he eats dirt at the park etc. Clearly he does not understand the meaning of "Mmmm."

Oliver decides to "enhance" his ravioli with whatever he finds on his tray.

He carefully stirs in the yogurt melts, animal crackers and pretzels...

He would not eat the ravioli till this enhancement, to which he responded "Mmmm." Is it ok to call my son a FREAK?

Why Not...it's 2011!

New Years resolutions come and go, but this year we are adopting the "Why Not" attitude. We have spent the last year cooped up in our home, and it is time to get out there, even if it is a bit tricky. A baby doesn't have to be an anchor that keeps you from leaving the city limits! We are going to get out more in 2011!

NEW YEARS

We started the year off right when we decided to be social on New Years Eve. We brought our well behaved boy, who just had plenty of "sleep-over" practice in Alaska, to Jared & Lauren's house in Alameda. We figured he would go right to sleep. He did. We drank Martini's, Wine, Red Champaign and partied till 2 AM. When we decided to head to bed, Oliver woke up and STAYED UP till 7am the next day!!! He kept the entire house up with his tired cries.

HAPPY NEW YEARS!

At least our friends are understanding.

When asked if we wanted to go to an exhibit in Santa Rosa, there were many thoughts going through my mind. Can we do this? Drive that long, do something adults do? WHY NOT!

What damage could a one-year-old do at a museum?

Luckily, none.

However, his loud shouting did sound awesome in a place with such good acoustics.

Dim Sum? WHY NOT?

I was a bit worried Oliver would not like Dim Sum. Turns out the only thing he doesn't like is me stabbing his head with a FORK. (In my defense, I was just trying to feed him. He moved). Luckily none of my co-workers saw what I had done. Oliver did very good, enjoyed Sweet Custard Buns and when he started to get anxious, Jon showed him all the yummy Lobster & Crabs in tanks.

Just recently, we attended the Alameda Antiques Fair. Long drive, and lots of things that Oliver could break, or swallow etc., but WHY NOT? It was an awesome day. Oliver didn't mind eating his lunch on the go. Really, he enjoyed antiquing more than I thought he would. He wanted to kiss everything as usual, including rusted clocks, & dirty lawn Gnomes. He also enjoyed pushing his own stroller through the crowd, hardly waiting for people to jump out of the way.

It is certainly clear, that doing stuff with a little one is always a little tricky and even risky, but it's 2011. Next time we are asked to go somewhere fun, we just have to say Why Not?